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Jealousy
is a common problem in swinging, sometimes it is am immediate
problem and sometimes it develops over time, or just suddenly
pops up.
Due
to the nature of swinging it will always be there to a
degree. It is natural to feel jealousy when the person
you hold most dear is having sexual relations of somekind
with someone else.
Whether
it is society or nature that makes us feel so protective
over sharing our partner with someone else is irrelevant,
the fact is that it happens. The impotant question is
how we deal with it..
The
hope that most people hold when they first start swinging
is that the jealousy will diminish with time, and yes
it does tend to for most people. But not for everyone.
For those who continue to feel jealousy after they have
been swinging for some time it can be particualrly difficult,
especially if their partner doesn't feel the same.
Sometimes
the simple pleasure derived from seeing your partner have
their fantasies realized will be enough to overcome the
jealosy.
Again
we come back to the importance of communicating.
If you continue to feel jealousy it is important to discuss
it with your partner, it may be the only way your will
be able to continue swinging.
Talking
with your partner will often help you to realise that
their enjoyment of swinging is dependant on your presence
because of their feelings for you.
If
you are still uncomfortable with the situation then it
is only through discussing it with your partner that you
will come to an agreement about how to proceed that you
are both happy with.
Yes,
there is the possibility that your partner may wish to
continue with swinging when you do not, but this is not
common. If this is the case then you need to talk about
it so that you know where you stand and how your relationship
is going to continue.
You
may find that by discussing it you can come to an agreement
about what you can and can't handle in a swinging situation,
what makes you feel jealousy and what you are comfortable
with.
You
and your partner are likley to be able to set new boundaries
and rules that you both feel happy with, as we discussed
in General
Advice and Swinging
Rules.
Every couple must find their own level of what they are
happy with in swinging. There are no fixed rules that
apply to everyone.
Everytime
you swing the situation is likely to be at least a little
different and new things will pop up (no pun intended;)
now and then, so it is important to always discuss things
with your partner.
Honesty
is important in any relationship, but it is essential
in swinging, you and your partner must both know how you
each feel about any given situation to avoid any resentment
or distrust building up.
It
is typical for swingers to have a more open and honest
relationship than many non-swinging couples, so jealousy
is not normally a problem for long.
At
the end of the day though, if it becomes a major problem
and it does not go away, then you may need to reassess
your involvement in the swinging lifestyle, it is not
for everyone after all. This is why it is not a good idea
to try swinging if your relationship is not as solid as
it could be. Swinging is not a cure for a relationship
that has lost it's sparkle, it can have entirely the wrong
effect.
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