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Talking
about things with your partner is, along with honesty,
one of the most important things you can do to keep a
good relationship healthy. The moment that communications
breaks down is the moment the relationship is in real
trouble.
In
Swinging communication with your partner and the people
you swing with is essential.
You
must make sure that your partner knows that they are the
most important person in their life, and that swinging
is an extra activity or interest for enhancing what you
already have, not replacing it.
The
moment your partner starts to think that your swinging
is taking over and becoming more important than them is
when your relationship will be in real trouble because
of your swinging activities.
It
is important to talk to each other about what makes you
both happy, what turns you on or off, what bothers you
and what you could not handle seeing, doing or being involved
in.
If
you and your partner have differences of opinion, discuss
them and make sure you come to some sort of understanding,
don't just ignore them and hope that it will go away.
Such
discussions whould be used to help you both to create
your own set of boundaries and rules for swinging. Do
not do anything that either one of you are not comfortable
with. Making sure you have agreed upon boundaries and
limits beforehand helps to insure that feelings do not
ger hurt inadvertantly.
This
communication must follow through to your swinging partners,
in other words make sure that those people you swing with
are aware of your boundaries and rules beforehand. And
obviously you should also check to see what boundaries
they have.
This
level of communication will ensure that both you and the
people you swing with have a good time without stepping
over the line for anyone involved as things progress..
Don't
be afraid of setting your boundaries quite tight, as you
can always change them later on. As you spend more time
swinging you are likely to become mroe comfortable with
more situations, so you can always re-asses your own boundaries,
but don't forget to discuss this with your partner again!
Setting
your boundaries to loose is far more likely to cause problems
by someone getting their feelings hurt, so set them at
a comfortable level for you and your partner, and discuss
them regularly.
Communication
is important at all times in swinging, not just between
your partner and yourself before hand, but also with the
couples you interact with, even if you have met them before.
Don't forget they may also have changed their boundaires
and rules, so don't make the mistake of just assuming...
It
is also well worth while having a few secret/disceet signals
set up between you and your partner so that you are able
to communicate some basic things without others realising,
for instance to signal to your partner that you feel uncomfortable,
that things have gone as far as you wish, or that you
are comfortable for things to progress further. This can
save having to have potentially embaressing discussions
in the middle of a meeting.
Secrets
signals can also be a great way of letting your partner
know whether or not you are interested in someone you
have met without having to say so aloud in front of them.
Obviously
you should never be afraid to speak up during a meeting
if there is something that concerns you in any way, but
having pre-arranged signals can help to keep things flowing
smoothly and more naturally when it is going right.
Remember,
not speaking up when you feel you need to is a sure way
of building up resentment and bad feelings towards the
situation and probably your partner as well, so don't
bottle it up, speak up and clear it up before it turns
in to a major problem.
Again,
problems or concerns that are ignored do not tend to actually
go away, rather they have a tendancy to come back and
bite you in the arse! ;)
Communication
in any relationship is important, in swinging it is essential.
The up side is that the level of open communication that
can come from swinging tends to lead to a deeper understanding
of your partner and therefore strengthen your relationship
even more in the long run.
The
opposite is also true, lack of communication is always
a sure way to destroy a relationship.
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